The Pocket Muse: Ideas and Inspirations for Writing
|Cover of The Pocket Muse|
By Monica Wood
What are you waiting for? If not now, when?Oh, just drop me in the deep end, why don't you? I hate starting with stream-of-consciousness -- I hate stream-of consciousness in general, really -- but what am I waiting for? Maybe I'm waiting for the quarterlife crisis to pass, for things to either fall into place or for myself to stop expecting things to fall into place.
I used to be so terrified of getting a B. If you don't get all A's, high schools don't track you highly enough, then colleges don't want you, and then you'll never get a good job (all patently false, everyone knows that). But the obverse seems to sink in (am I even using "obverse" correctly?). If I get all A's, and the high school tracks me properly, and the college wants me, the good job should follow.
And all the parenting blogs remind you, don't praise your child for being smart, praise her for trying hard. It's totally true. If I was so smart, this would come easy. If I was so smart, I'd know what to do. And my conclusion isn't "Your premise is flawed," it's "Well, guess I'm not so smart." And as a kid, "smart" was a huge chunk of my identity. (This may read that I'm blaming my parents. I'm totally not. My teachers, on the other hand, I'm pretty sure are culpable.) But if this doesn't come easy, then I'm not smart, so who the eff am I? And aren't I supposed to have this figured out by now?
And, as your second question asks, if not by now, then when???
...OK, that got personal. How'd you do with the prompt?