Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Small Nyberg screws with doctors

My pending son either doesn't like doctors, or just likes messing with them.

We've had three ultrasounds, now; one to confirm the pregnancy and two since.

I don't know if he had any opinions at the first one; I don't think he had brain waves at that point.  Heartbeat, yolk sack, everything's where it's supposed to be and there's only one of him.  Have a nice day.

At the second one, the idea was to get a look at his spine and, to a lesser degree, his face to make sure he doesn't have any major defects. And once we got to look at those things, he was confirmed to be healthy.  But in the meantime, he crossed his legs, covered his face with his hands, and kept turning away from the scanner. "Go away!" he seemed to be saying.

After this ultrasound, but before the next one, we had a routine checkup.  The doctor went to check his heartbeat, and then has this look on her face. She got very deliberately neutral.  The "Something is wrong so I have to look like nothing is wrong" face.

Yeah, he was just dodging the wand. Once she tracked him down, his heartbeat was strong and healthy.

Then came the most recent ultrasound. This was the one where they would reveal the sex.

Many of our friends who have recently had, or will soon have, kids, found the sex through a blood test (did you know pregnant mothers have bits of their babies' DNA floating in their own blood? Science is awesome!). We just waited for the ultrasound. Even Chris, who is vehemently against spoilers, wanted to know.

So in the week or so leading up to the test, we talked to my bump. "You better cooperate with the doctor and the tech!" we told him.  "We want to know who you are!"

(Well, we won't know that for a few months, yet, but at least this would determine his name.)

So the tech takes a look, and says, "Look! It's a boy!"

Yeah... she didn't need to tell us that.  He wasn't subtle.

He was manspreading.

And just as soon as she announced it... his legs were crossed, his hands were over his face, and he was rolling away from the scanner. "I did what you asked, now leave me alone!"

And so it goes.  At our last appointment, he let the PA check his heartbeat... then tried to kick the wand.

Immunizations are going to be an adventure, I just know it.

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